The greatest, most glaring red flag in relationships is a normalization of patterns of abuse, whether physical or emotional. The phenomenon of intimate partner violence captures a spectrum of mistreatment in relationships and, as noted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, can entail anything from sexual violence to stalking and psychological aggression, which studies show are experienced by millions across the United States. According to The Hotline, the figures for emotional abuse are staggering, with data from 2020 stating that 96% of the domestic violence helpline's callers experienced it. 

Pioneering psychologist Lenore Walker's influential theory on a four-part cycle of abuse developed in 1979 scrutinizes a noticeable pattern of violence in relationships: growing tensions, expression of abuse, and reconciliation followed by calm, before the cycle repeats. While emotional abuse in relationships can be hard to detect, some expert-vetted warning signs include extreme possessiveness, stonewalling, screaming or threatening, increased jealousy, and isolation. 

Given its blatant nature that could manifest in forms of domestic violence or hurt, physical abuse makes itself more evident than emotional abuse, which can be an equally damaging affair to navigate. The complication of identifying emotional abuse stems from its signs being more subtle and gradual, according to counseling psychologist Sherry Benton, who told Brides, "Each time, you're getting more adapted to the negative patterns, so it gets more difficult to see — as well as to leave."